It has been a little while now hasn't it?
Well I have had some time to spend away from writing sometimes I need that time
sometimes I have to let all the words bounce back and forth around my heart
and let them bottle up..
Oh, so not a lot has changed I feel that progress has been made though
but looking from the outside in you'd think we were standing still.
What is it that I came here to say? Sometimes I feel that my way with words
has been crippled and beaten to the point of no return.. I don't feel the fluency
I once felt a long time ago. But I guess you could say I do feel more aware of
what I am speaking instead of just writing to release something.. Maybe
that is the issue I am oh so very aware.
I feel that I need an outlet to express myself I've come to a point where
I need something.. I need to learn how to do something so I can learn
how to express who I am through some form of art or release.. Just
casually sitting around in this world isn't enough for me to get by on.
I need more.
So I am looking to learn I am not sure what yet
eventually all the things I want to learn I hope
someday I will have. But where to start?
I want to learn guitar and I want to learn piano
I want to learn to sew to sew in a way that is more than
what I already know. I did teach myself so my world is a little
limited in that respect.. I want to learn to paint, to draw and to create.
Someone please help me do these things.. I need it.. I need them
to survive. I feel the days of ahead of me warning that I should
find an outlet soon.. I am going to need it.
The candles burning to the right of me are beautiful and smell wonderful
they are so expressive in the way that they fume with their light and
they feel so ... alive.
I want to feel that I want to feel connected to some kind of flame
some kind of something inside of me that is able to be shown the path outward
with delight and a little bit of beauty here and there.
Oh someone please help this path along.
My camera is broken for the time being so I've had that taken away from me
I have no outlet.. I could draw and paint but I really don't know exactly how..
I do these things but with no skill... I can draw things and they resemble what I
sought them to.. but I want it to just flow out of me instead of having to figure out
the way... I want to feel fluid and free and feel the harmony of creation coming off of me.
I need these things... I need them soon.
