So it goes like this and I find that my thoughts are fleeting

They are like sand through a sieve running through and through
but occasionally they are too large to fit through the tiny holes where
all the rest flee to who become immersed and unattainable, fallen into deep dispossession
gone. But the thoughts the revelations too monumental to squeeze through as the rest do
they shake me and wake me up with a start. An unapologetic start that has me stand
straight up and remember who I am who I was before amnesia hit with the blow of forgetfulness.

They are my cornerstones that my heart has been set around they are where
I run to as I grow and leave the minuscule behind. When you grow you need
new things that fit you accordingly if you've grown and your body is hidden by
ill-fit clothes and shoes your figure will not shine to it's full capacity. There comes a time
where you must let go, throw out the old, not only unessential but also impeding
favorite things and begin again to learn who you are with new eyes, hands and feet.
You've reached a place where more can be added unto you.. because you've allowed it to be so.

Some hold themselves back wishing not to move forward but to run in circles and enjoy

the vapid well worn-in path to quit overcoming the obstacles of the high calling.

It's funny that we call it the higher calling I am sure most often it's a confusing title
for those who have not yet tasted the sweet and succulent honey like Love of His.

To watch as Christ took to the those High places and was tested and tried everyday

until at last with a finale he was crucified.. Ahh yes.. the higher calling.

When people look at my family; homeless, they don't understand how it could

be good. But then they look further into our eyes and ask themselves
"how are they happy? What do they have that we do not?"

People tell us to be like them. They say "
Have a house, by your own two hands work for it with all your life, die for it and in it too.
For their own comfort they ask that of us never asking if we are happy here.

I am puzzled by those suggestions.
 I look across the nation and I see you, yes you... bankrupt, foreclosure on the way with empty pockets and stomach's to boot. And you say to me "join us... we've got something special that you don't".. as you smile your destitute smile and relay to me once again what comforts, Father wants us to have... "He wants you to take this part into your own hands." And I know it's just because you love us and want us to have and be comforted, but that isn't where I get my hope from.

Your hands are empty and mine... they are swollen with goodness. No, I am not without troubles but yet I have them everyday the world turning on us at every moment those closest inching away with a "that's all I can do for you"  And you tell me what I need when you don't have anything to give. 

Okay so, I know that's the way it's been done for a very long time now

but it is not by any means the only way. And just because you are comfortable there

doesn't mean that's where I should be. Just because "they" tell us to "or else" they say with a smug sneer. You pave a road and expect me to walk down it the way you've done it over and over again but you're aren't happy and you don't by any means have it figured out. What you are offering to me is less then what I have. Because though we've been with no steady income for years now.. we've never been hungry once. I asked Father for bread and ten minutes later a woman knocked on the door handed me a wordless loaf and turned around and walked away.

How can you say that I need more then Him? When especially with what He's been promising, better more.. and most of all HIM. But you don't believe it you don't think it's possible that He would do that or even could and why us? Maybe, just maybe because we declined your way and asked for His. That's what we want. That's all we want to have. Anything else is not fitting, it falls off my shoulders or squeezes my insides from the tightness it asks of me. And I say no that's not what I want, your offers are sweet and kind.. sometimes horrid and harsh and still I say no.
Years go by and I know the promised land isn't far from here, we've gone though to the other side and I am happy here. I see the lakes and oceans full of water and bliss and I feel it in my bones that it'll all be okay.

I don't want your world.
I don't want what you've built.

The Wise and Foolish Builders Matthew 7:24-29

24“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

28When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law."

I want what He said in soft tones and whispers in my ear that had shivers of delight rolling down my spine because of the nearness of his breath that smelled of warmth and honey-like tea, the secrecy of my Bridegroom's lips . The whispers He spoke were this