flight path

Strength.

The hair on the back of my neck stands on end as I force my way through
the crowd of pain and turmoil.


There is only hope that I can cling to nothing else that makes this life worth living.
Why else do we hold on so tightly? I watched a documentary about a man who is
afraid to die and believes everyone who thinks otherwise is lying or deceived.

I wonder to myself why people are so afraid to die.

I am not afraid never have been that I can recall I am not lying
nor deceived just not satisfied with this life. Something doesn't
feel right inside me living here. I don't feel attached to this earth

I think that people who know how to love this life are very special
angels maybe. But not me anyway. Lulu understands life I can see it
in her photos in her words she inspires me to be happy to be alive
and I am so happy to have come across her, her spirit so alive and
beautiful colors follow her where ever she goes.

But me I feel so grey and drear sometimes I spot color
patches here and there. But nothing like other's do.

For me it doesn't come as easy but I guess that's just my
calling to be this whatever I am. But I know I am an unfinished
project we work on me everyday. It feels good to be rid of my
facebook for the time being to not be watched while I am not even there.
To think that there are opportunities that just opened because my time
has been freed I'll need something to fill those spaces and whatever
I enjoyed about facebook I will search in deeper levels maybe to be
quenched here and there. I just want so much more. I know it sounds like a small beginning
but to me the deactivation is nothing to overlook. I have had something like that
for years now and this change though may have taken minutes the understanding that I
do not need it anymore is a fulfilling one.