You left the house lights on

it would be hard for me to go back to just writing with a pen and paper now...

But I needed a new start a place that's fresh and has no split or dead ends, I am not the person that I once was and I don't need the connections to them either.

I feel good.. I feel better with it this way.

However the vast expanse in front of my has me wobbling to and fro I use effort to keep my balance
and I notice the daily strains as I let go of the dead weight that I was carrying. The release of that pressure
has me excited for the normal aches and pains of everyday life that I never knew I could have.. How funny is it of me to say that people take advantage of those things?

Not that funny.

I feel good to detach myself away from him and finally let go of guilt and worry that I shouldn't have to carry, there is a time before the age of accountability and I was there among that time and he was passed it very aware, knowing what he would be held accountable for.

So you better stand up and state your case in honesty, it is time and I stand underneath the bow
of security, cringing... But okay and looking onward.

I am here now and when I see the lights aglow behind the windows of houses that I stroll by at night or twilight it scares me, at one time it excited me and filled me with pure joy that there were people afloat
and lives were taking place, and I was so close to them I was part of their fate of their world even though they did not know.

But now I see it and it is like the ghost of Christmas past that haunts me I want to run and divide to find a place, a Palace far off from glowing windowsills away from partaking in the lives of those so near.

We underestimate the youth in ways that are haunting and terrifying.