Aching for a change, a dramatic change

But everything is fine it is all going all right nothing needs improvement if I look closely (and I always do)
with an open heart I can see you, Father doing your work. I've witnessed the beauty right inside of my eyes, I've seen it captured the grace and the mercy. You are magnificent.

But I still feel this lurch from the inside out for change, who is asking for this change? Who are you?

I am calling you out "come out, come out, where ever you are!"

It's time for me to have an encounter face to face with this substance screaming and demanding my attention.
My tired eyes are being strengthened and I know all of this makes sense it does and must.

There is a time for everything I've witnessed time changing and overlapping I've been there and I am looking back at it in amazement and wonder. Sometimes I feel as if I wasted so much time and I possibly did though I am here now at the understanding of such and I can conquer this.

It's my choice and my life to have whatever I want in it I have some say over the things that happen
in the immediate instance and I was given that choice from love, so I might as well use it in love
and with the power of love.

I am happy and becoming even happier with everyday because as the days go by I am learning how to be that way, and also realizing the people around me love me, and they won't steal and take from me. They won't cheat or break my heart every second of everyday. The guards are coming down and the shields are being removed and I can fly my wings weren't clipped I was just in a cage. It took me awhile to realize that and it took me a minute to realize I hadn't clipped them myself, I wasn't the only perpetrator but I won't allow myself now that I have the knowledge to be put in another or the same cage. I often don't want to land I hadn't flown in so long... But I do land because I have to. But I am determining where home is and where the traps are set where I should land for rest and recouping and where I should flee from not to relish one more moment in flightless thoughts, harmful taunts.

I feel so young and jumbled but I am good because it's just the process it's not the end of the road nor the promised land.